Knowing is half the battle. Simple awareness may help to prevent church conflicts in the early stages. It is best to stop the dispute quickly. “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out” (Pr. 17:14). Below, I have listed seven critical causes of church conflict. Becoming aware may help your church leaders adjust expectations and make strides to prevent or resolve conflict. If you don’t believe that church conflicts are common, I will let you carry my cellphone for a day!
1. Pride: People often behave with self-centeredness, ego, and pride. When you feel that life is about you, you take things personally. Self-centeredness causes one to experience hurt feelings easily. James observed, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1). Solomon wrote, “By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom” (Proverbs 13:10). Get the focus off of yourself and onto Jesus Christ!
Value others above yourself. Make sure people in your church know that you care about their needs. When you feel that you have allowed pride to influence your relationship negatively, admit your failure. Say, “I apologize. I let pride get in the way.” The Bible says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). People prevent and resolve church conflicts when they implement this teaching.
2. Spiritual and Emotional Immaturity: Maturity helps a person understand that differences in perspective broaden understanding. Mature people learn to disagree without being distressed. Mature people are self-aware and seek to improve their weaknesses.
Immature individuals have not learned to avoid disputes over a person’s personality or style. Likewise, maturation helps a person understand the futility of fighting over things that cannot be controlled. “Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking, be mature” (1 Corinthians 14:20). Believers must learn to think, behave, and communicate with maturity.
3. Change and Inflexibility: In reality, change is the norm. When policies or priorities change in the church, misunderstandings and stresses are likely to occur. When pastors and church leaders make strategic decisions, an effective process of communicating these new directives and norms is crucial. Even so, some church members may struggle to accommodate the changes.
Some people have a greater propensity to resist change than others. In times of change, one may benefit from evaluating emotional responses to change. Often change leads to feelings of powerlessness or insecurity because one may trust the status quo at church instead of trusting God for security and peace. “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe” (Proverbs 29:25). Only God provides security in a changing world!
Wise believers look for the benefits of change. Change can lead to a more biblical church and to a church that is following the Great Commission. James wrote, “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (Jas. 3:17-18). Wisdom is being “open to reason” and “impartial.” This wisdom is difficult to put into practice. However, wisdom looks for the positive.
4: Abuses of Power: Power is the influence a person has on his or her environment, relationships, or self. Shifts in power may create gains or losses. Power is the ability and means to get things done. Conflict expert Dudley Weeks wrote, “People choose how they use power and whether they allow it to be corrupt. We can use power negatively or positively. The severely damaging seesaw power approach creates the illusion that you are more powerful when you make the other party less powerful.” Thus, people must have a healthy view of power to prevent conflict.
Jesus, the Son of God, used his power to serve others and to look out for those who were disadvantaged or in need. “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Jesus’ use of power is a model for a person of influence. God forbid that anyone would use power to abuse or hurt someone! Likewise, power and influence in the church should ultimately be directed to Jesus Christ, who is the Head of the church.
5: Church Politics: Factions in the church may intentionally or unintentionally engage in political maneuvering and posturing that leads to conflict. For instance, senior church members may favor proven methods, while younger members desire to change. Factions may attempt to increase their power and recruit others to their side. A person may be challenged to resolve the situation without offending the other individuals and groups involved in the conflict. For believers in Christ, this takes extreme caution and integrity.
The Bible addresses politics among factions. The Apostle Paul dealt with factions in the Corinthian church. “For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? For when one says, ‘I follow Paul,’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos,’ are you not being merely human?” (1 Corinthians 3:3-4). One group in the Corinthian church claimed to be following only Christ (1 Corinthians 1:12). One may find it interesting that Paul did not commend those who followed him (“I follow Paul”) but condemned each of the factions. Paul identified these political factions in Corinth as distractions from the mission of the church and selfish in motivation.
6: Unclear Authority: Conflicts arise among church staff and members when authority is unclear. When lines of authority are unclear, church volunteers and leaders sometimes exercise authority out of the realm of their responsibility. Such conflicts may become worse in times of crisis. A biblical example of the lack of clarity and authority was during the transition between Kings Saul and David in Israel (1 Samuel 16-31). Severe and complicated relational difficulties erupted among those in authority and the citizens of Israel. The Israelites could not understand Saul and David’s relationship. Eventually, a physical conflict erupted. Saul’s pride, which led to his suicide, provided David with opportunities to prove his integrity amid the confusion (1 Samuel 31).
7: Personality Differences: The real or perceived differences among your congregation play underlying roles in communication and conflict. Remembering why others talk and act as they do may prevent misunderstandings and false assumptions. The time-honored “DISC Profile System” may help church staff and committee members understand their differences. The four basic personalities or communication profiles are Dominant, Influencer, Steady, and Conscientious. When people discover and discuss their personality styles, healthy communication may result. More importantly, biblical fellowship among people is the best way for people to understand one another and grow together (Acts 2:46).
Please contact the BMBA if you need help in biblical conflict resolution training. Our mission is to encourage, equip, and engage biblically faithful churches in the Great Commission.
With sincere gratitude,
Dr. Chris Crain,
Executive Director of BMBA